Discernment is a whole new concept for me in my personal life. Like, what do you mean not everyone has the best intentions? And doesn’t chemistry equal we’re meant to be together?

Many a-lesson on discernment has taken place this year, however the latest one has been the biggest epiphany yet…

the difference between someone wanting my company due to how I make them feel vs how much they like me as a person.

I am generally a really positive and mega-encouraging person (words of affirmation are my #1 love language). It’s not all seemingly superficial though, I froth over helping people become the best they can be and can coach and support people through their shadow moments too. Basically all this can add up to be the perfect recipe for someone wanting to be with me for how I make them feel, and them really not giving a shit about who I actually am as a person.

A few examples of where this has shown up are:

Them not listening to what I actually want in a situation, and then doing what they want. Like, taking you to a fancy restaurant when you’ve explicitly said you want something low-key.

Or constantly coming to you for advice and support, but when the tables are turned they are nowhere to be found. 

Or when I’m upset or grumpy, they try to gaslight me into a better mood because they expect me to be ‘happy’ all. the. time. 

Relationships are not always 50/50 – they’re a partnership. But sustained imbalance can erode any relationship. Chemistry may fade, but connection and honouring each other for who they are is important for long-term compatibility.

I literally do not have time for ANY relationship where I am not valued as a WHOLE person.